Bad Teacher, Good Teacher

So, for those of you still following along (which is pretty much no one, since I'm absolutely horrible about writing things on here...) I am in the midst of my student teaching. Which I love. And hate.

I love the kids I get to work with (well, most of the time), and the teacher I get to work with and the school I'm working in. But I also hate not having control of my OWN classroom, being able to make my own rules and my OWN schedule and my OWN way of doing things. (I'm a bit of a control-freak, and I kinda like things MY way.) But that's student teaching for you. I also HATE the amount of silly (at least I consider it silly) busy-work we are required to do, and the hoops we have to jump through. I'm all for having highly qualified teachers in our schools, but if you're going to be requiring this amount of work for them to get certified, then at least pay them half-way decently. It's not like it used to be, where you take some classes, take a couple easy-breezy, common sense tests and VOILA! You're a teacher. Now there are TPAs (teacher perfomance assessments where you are required to record yourself teaching in a variety of settings and subjects, submit lesson plans and reflections and send this all in to the state in order to get certified), MUCH more difficult and varied licensure exams (common sense they are not, my friends, the contents of these tests DO require a lot of studying in order to pass), plus the 5 months of student teaching and the constant lesson plans, observations and post lesson reflections one has to do. It's exhausting. And even though I'm on week 7 of my 11 week assignment, I still have 4 weeks at a middle school (which I am DREADING) and tons of work still not completed. And I do mean TONS. I dare not think on it too long.

So, anyway... yeah, there's a ton of work to do. And even though I am up to the challenge and ready to tackle it head-on, there are days when I doubt whether I am cut out to be a teacher. These are the days when I want to scream at the kids to just SHUT UP, otherwise I will box their ears if they don't start using their inside voices. (Seriously, what is so difficult about inside voices? I mean, it's as though children have absolutely no volume control what-so-ever. Your friend is standing RIGHT NEXT TO YOU... WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT HER???)  And there are days when I am downright dumb-founded to discover how little 2nd graders know about... well, everything. At first, I was wondering what the heck was wrong with these kids... I couldn't figure out why they were so... dumb. And then I had to be reminded... they're 2nd graders, they're supposed to be that dumb. But, still, there are days when I just want to look at them and say, "Really? Seriously? Did you literally just ask me that question? Are you really that stupid?" These are the days when they come up to you with a scrap of paper or a used staple in their hands, asking you what they should do with it. Really? Do we really need to have this conversation? And then there are the tattle tales, and the mean girls (yes, they do start that in the 2nd grade) and the dog-pile of boys wrestling around on the floor because they have clearly forgotten that this is not school-appropriate behavior. And by the time I get home, I just want to take a nap and not talk to anyone... including my husband and my cat. And every time my husband says anything to me, I'm ready to slug him, because I've had 17 children talking at me all day, and quite frankly, I just don't want to hear him talk too.

But, by the time the next day rolls around, I'm ready to go again, and I'm all excited about what we're going to do that day and thrilled to see those silly little buggars. So, I suppose this is a good sign. But still, there are some days...