Because Bathtubs are Romantic

At least according to Cialis.

Have you seen these commercials?

The ones advertising the pills for erectile dysfunction?

(SHHHHH! Nice, Christian girls don't say that. Or write that. Or even KNOW what that means...)

Dudes... I'm just reporting what I see on TV, okay?

"Now you can be ready when the time is right."

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?

But I digress...

What is with the bathtub shot at the very end of every single one of these commercials?

At the end of each commercial, the happy couple is found sitting in their own seperate claw-footed bathtub enjoying the sunset.

On the beach.

In the forest.

At the edge of a cliff overlooking a canyon.

It's all very romantic.

I guess.

At least that's what Cialis would have us believe.

Apparently Cialis brings people together in such a magical way that by the end of the evening they find themselves in separate claw-footed bathtubs watching the sunset.

Really?

I mean, REALLY?!

Okay, so maybe sunsets are romantic....

But bathtubs?

BATHTUBS are romantic?

If I had a nickel for every time I had the urge to whisk my husband away to a claw-footed bathtub...

I'd be broke.

Claw-footed bathtubs?

Oh baby, oh baby.

I think my cat is mad at me.

I've been gone for five days.

Sure, my husband was around to keep him company, but he just doesn't do "cuddles and loves" the way I do.

Now he's being all moody.

Scratching at the carpet, mewing incessantly, running around like a mad man, staring into space with big, saucer-like eyes, hightailing it down the hall at the most inopportune times, even glaring at me between bites of food like he's plotting my demise.

Remind me not to get on this cat's bad side.

Ever.

Again.

Stupid movies you should avoid watching forever and ever, Amen.

First of all, if you were planning on watching either "Shutter Island" or "Lovely Bones", I suggest you stop reading right now. Because I WILL be spoiling the endings for you. So you have been warned. Proceed at your own peril.

First of all, "Shutter Island". I was excited to watch this movie. I truly was. When you have a movie starring Leonard Dicaprio and directed by Martin Scorcese, odds are, you're in for a good time. But then again, I should have been warned when my brother-in-law stated that he liked the "surprise twist" at the end.

Note to All Movie Viewers EVERYWHERE: There IS no such thing as "surprise twists" in movies anymore. They do not exist. Everything has been done before, so if you are stupid enough to still think movies have "surprise twists" you have not watched enough movies, my friend.

The opening scene clued me in to the "surprise twist" of the movie. I had it figured out five minutes into it. But I continued watching with high hopes that this film would somehow turn out differently.

It didn't. This whole "Nevermind, I'm just CRAAAAA-ZAY" plot has been done one too many times. "Secret Window"? "Fight Club"? "Hide & Seek"?

It's not original anymore and it's not surprising. If you think it is, you really do need to get out more. It takes more effort to explain the circumstances of the story rather than dismiss them with an insanity plea.

HUGE disappointment.

Secondly, "Lovely Bones". I had heard the book was great, and the film looked intriguing.

Again, I was excited.

Watching the trailers of this movie, one would assume that the film was all about the investigation into this girl's disappearance and murder and how her spirit aided in that investigation.

Um... yeah. Not so much.

It was more like watching 2 and a half additional hours of "What Dreams May Come". And seriously, no one wants to watch 2 and half additional hours of THAT movie.

Yeah, I'm sorry the girl is dead, but I'm more interested in the impending criminal investigation than in her trips into the "other realm" where she prances with dead Asian girls, rides on giant butterflies and watches her family cope with her loss from afar.

Worst of all, the script rarely followed the original storyline of the book and the ending? Absolutely ZERO closure. Apparently, we're supposed to be relieved that life went on for her family even though no one was ever brought to justice for her murder.

Really?

REALLY?!

I wasted two and half hours of my life on this movie. And it's not fair. This movie was marketed with false advertising. If you want to watch a crime thriller, DO NOT rent this movie. If you want to watch a fantasy which deals with life and death and the afterlife, also DO NOT rent this movie - "What Dreams May Come" is slightly less mind-numbing.

Maine Coon in a Cooler

Because I'm tired and if I were to post about everything that was on my mind right now, not only would this blog disintegrate but my brain would explode and the entire internet would shut down.

No lyin'.

Also, because Julie asked for more George pictures.

So, without further ado, I give you, "Maine Coon in a Cooler".

Please Note: Those of you with sensitive ears should turn down the volume so as to avoid the high pitched humming sound which is my voice as well as the atrocious mid-western accent and appropriate, yet annoying, baby talk.

Just sayin'... I warned you.

YAY, Loralee!

I heart this lady.

She is awesome.

I also heart her blog.

It too is awesome.

On top of all that awesomeness, she's starting her new dream job.

So excited for her.

Go read about it and congratulate her.

Because, like I said, she is awesome and I heart her.

Plus, you'll get to see the BEAUTIFUL new place she will be working in.

It too is awesome.

So, go read about her big news.

Do it.

You know you want to...

Plus, all the cool kids are doing it.

Double standards in the Mel Gibson case - It's okay to hate women as long as you aren't a bigot.

I don't like talking about celebrities much. I think it's a waste of valuable time and space. Especially when it comes to scumbags like Mel Gibson.

But I gotta say something here, yo.

First of all, has anyone else heard the recently released tapes of his phone "conversations" with his girlfriend?

Oh. My.

Let me warn you now: If you are a sensitive type person who doesn't deal well with yelling, screaming, profanity, death threats, obscenities, hate speech and violence... well, I suggest you avoid listening to them.

I had a hard enough time getting through them.

But I would like to pose a question.

And it is this:

Why all the focus on the racism and bigotry?

I get it. He used two horrible, derogatory terms. He's a scumbag. He's probably a racist scumbag. He's probably long been a closet bigot.

Yeah, we get that. No one is suggesting otherwise. No one is really surprised.

But what I don't get is why no one seems to be bothered by his apparent hatred toward females? His violent rant? His death threats? His misogyny?

What, no one is bothered by that?

We're supposed to get all in a tizzy over his racist remarks but not bat an eye over the horrible mistreatment of this woman?

Wait a minute...

Wasn't it just a short time ago when all of Hollywood and the music industry and the media were all over Chris Brown about the Rihanna incident?

Radio stations boycotted his music. The media condemned him. Everyone thought his career was over.

But now there's this situation with Mel Gibson and no one seems outraged by his behavior except for the fact that he made racist remarks.

Really?

REALLY?!

What's the difference here?

Why are we supposed to get all upset over Chris Brown's mistreatment of women, but we're not supposed to bat an eye over Mel Gibson's mistreatment of women?

Seriously, I'm asking why.

Did you HEAR the recordings? He threatened to kill her, told her she deserved it when he punched her in the face while she held their child, told her she needed a bat to the side of the head, demanded sexual favors from her before he burned the house down, called her every derogatory name and curse word in the book, demeaned her, ridiculed her, embarrassed her, shamed her, told her she was nothing but a piece of garbage...

And no one actually seems to care?

Wow.

Really?

I get it. I know the man needs help. I know he's a scumbag. But why does this behavior not seem to outrage anyone else?

I finally came across this article on MSN.

Thank God.

Finally, someone is speaking out.

But why did it take so long?

Has our society come to expect this behavior from men?

Worse yet, has society come to accept it?

There is no logical title for this particular blog post.

First of all, a question:

Why does coffee turn that gross, muddy, brown color after sitting in the coffee pot for a couple of hours?

WHY?

I understand the color change if it's day-old coffee, but this is not day-old coffee. It was freshly brewed just a few hours ago, and it's been sitting in a hot coffee pot this whole time. Why the muddy-brown color? What did I ever do to you, stupid coffee? I just brewed you and didn't drink you right away. No reason to get all uppity and change colors on me.

Stupid, jerky coffee.

You are gross.

I don't deserve this.

I don't actually know why I'm complaining about it.

I SHOULD be working right now, not blogging about ugly coffee.

But I don't want to work.

I'd rather distract myself.

You see, I have this new project to complete at work.

I get to re-build some price sheets for the sauna stoves and kits that are sold at the store.

Actually, I shouldn't have to rebuild them at all. I should just be able to make changes to the originals.

Only problem is, the stupid originals were built in Adobe Page Maker.

In a nutshell, Adobe Page Maker sucks.

It does. I hate it with a burning hatred.

Dumbest computer program ever. Ev-ER.

Plus, it's horribly outdated.

Despite the utter stupidity and outdatedness of the program, I should just be able to rebuild these sheets. But, for starters, I don't have Page Maker on my computer. (I was hoping that since I have most Adobe programs on my computer, I would be able to work on them in a newer Adobe program.) However, when I tried to e-mail the files to myself (from two different e-mail programs), it either said the file was too big, or the file didn't exist. When I tried to save the files on a CD, the computer told me again that the files didn't exist. I even enlisted the help of my computer savvy husband who tried to export or import the stupid files. But only the left side of the sheets were able to be imported or exported.

BAH!

So, I printed the stupid sheets off and told the boss man that I'd rebuild them in a different computer program.

Yeah, well, despite having Adobe Illustrator on my computer, I'm not familiar enough with it to build a completely new sheet.

There is also a vast lack of computer programs on my stupid computer.

So, what do I resort to using?

Well, since there are charts and tables galore on these stupid sheets, I've resorted to using Excel.

It is because of this that I have recently discovered that I hate my life.

Rebuilding these sheets has been nothing but a pain in my butt. It's taking forever and things are not looking the way they are supposed to.

But I don't know what else to do.

Furthermore, I'm getting the distinct impression that my boss is getting anxious and worried about the amount of hours I'm putting into the website and now these sheets.

Personally, I don't feel like he SHOULD be getting anxious and worried about this because for one thing, I don't ever work more than 10 hours a week (no lie), AND I'm putting a lot of time and effort into rebuilding these stupid sheets AND assisting on revamping BOTH WEBSITES ENTIRELY.

And he's going to get anxious about too many hours?

REALLY?!

The extra effort and time need to be there unless he wants things looking like crap. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm working as little as is humanly possible without stopping work altogether.

Really. Truly. For reals.

On top of all that, I know absolutely NOTHING about saunas, how they work, how to build them, their stoves, their components, their accessories or their add-ons.

I mean it. I know NOTHING.

Zip, zero, zilch, NADA.

I just spent the last three days going back and forth with a representative of the sauna maker trying to figure out which items had been discontinued, which had been replaced and which codes corresponded with which names.

I am so seriously in the dark it's not even funny. I'm pretty sure I asked the nice lady the same questions three extra times. I was afraid she was going to block me in her inbox.

It's endlessly frustrating, yo. And it's taking me forever.

Neither of which is a very good thing.

*sigh*

I suppose I should get back to work though, right?

And maybe somehow, I'll be able to find the happy balance between getting the work done that I'm completely in the dark about, and not putting TOO much work into it so as to not upset this year's budget.

Riiiiiight.

Wish me luck.

Just Waitin'...

Waiting to hear back from a couple of people about whether they'll write me some letters of recommendation so I can get into the St. Mary's Graduate Program.

I can't apply until I have all my ducks in a row, and right now, my ducks are a little scattered.

I hate waiting. I just want to line up my ducks already...

Big News (And a Couple of Smaller Announcements)

And NO, nobody is having a baby. Seriously. Don't even go there.

First of all, the look of the blog has changed yet again. There are still a few things I'd like to tweak on it, but overall, this is how it's going to look... at least for a while.

Secondly, I got my hair chopped off. Or should I say, "I got ALL of my hairs chopped off!" AHAHAHAHAHA... That one just never gets old, does it? (Okay, actually it does. In fact, I hate that joke. But I felt compelled to make it in this situation...) Yes, I got my hair chopped off. I always think I want to grow my hair out, and then I give in and get it all chopped off and end up love, love, LOOOOVING it. I look good in short hair. Women are so afraid of short hair. They think that if they go with a shorter do, they'll end up looking like a man. Not so. Especially not with me. I actually look much, MUCH better in short hair than in long hair. It frames my face and accentuates my features. Plus, it's a bazillion times easier to manage. Although, I must admit, I enjoy the look of concern, consternation, and flat-out horror that crosses my husband's face when I tell him I want to get a much-shorter haircut. I think he fears I'll come back with a crew cut or some kind of she-mullet. Silly boy, he doesn't yet understand that his wife has good taste. (Much better than his, in fact. But don't tell him that. He can't help it. He's a boy.) So, anyway, my hair is short and I love it and I want to keep it this way forever and ever, amen. (I know, I know, you people want pictures. We'll see if I ever get around to it...)

Thirdly... what was the third thing now? OH yes... moving. We're not moving! Yet. We will eventually, but our landlord was actually THRILLED when we asked her if we could rent on a month to month basis. I was endlessly relieved. Now we can take our time finding a place we BOTH love, that fits our budget, and we don't have to do it in a blind panic. You have no idea the amount of stress that has been lifted from me because of this decision.

Fourthly (and the most importantly), I have made a major decision about my life. And it is this: I'm going back to school. To get my teaching license. And my Master's degree. Yeah. It's kind of a big deal. I think I freaked myself out just typing it. *Deep Breath* The thing is, I've been feeling like I'm floundering. I mean, really, REALLY floundering. I can't find my footing and I can't find my passion and most of the time, I'm just running on empty trying to conjure up some kind of enthusiasm for... SOMETHING.

You see, I've actually wanted to teach for a very, very, VERY long time. Since I graduated from college, in fact. But I never wanted to pursue it because 1.) It requires additional schooling which I did NOT want to touch with a ten foot pole and 2.) It felt like a cop-out. I kept telling myself that "real" writers didn't teach. They just wrote. I also told myself that teaching was what you did when you couldn't succeed in your field. But, oddly enough, I still really, really, REALLY wanted to teach. So very, very much. But I kept convincing myself otherwise until just recently, when I up and decided to go for it. What do I have to lose? If this is what I want to do with my degree, than why am I not doing it???

So, I decided to do something about it. I think I've found a program at St. Mary's University which will allow me to get both my teaching license and my Master's degree at the same time. Plus, I can continue working and writing while I do it, since they offer a program which only meets a couple times a week (one evening a week and occasional weekends). The only downside to this is the fact that it will take about two years to complete. Which, doesn't seem that long, but to me, it feels like forever. And I feel old enough already. I can't even tell you how I've been kicking myself for not making this decision earlier. I could have had this done and over with and been teaching by now. But no, I had to drag my feet. And by the time I get this degree I will be nearly 30. THIRTY. As in... really, REALLY OLD. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know some of you have outfits older than me, but it still feels a little old to me to finally figure out what I want to do with my life...) Anyway, I better drop it, before I talk myself out of it...

Bah! Okay, so there are a whole slew of things going on in my neck of the woods. How 'bout you?