Really, Fox News?

I'm a bit of a news junkie, but I won't watch the mainstream media. CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS... nope, nada, I just won't do it. Their obvious liberal bias is enough to make me throw heavy objects at the television screen.

So, I watch Fox News. Do I think they're the "Fair and Balanced" news source they claim to be?

Psh. Ahahaha. No, of course not you silly people. They're as conservative as the others are liberal. But, being a conservative, (and honestly, I'm still baffled by the fact that people think I'm a liberal) I'd rather have people who agree with me and my values deliver my news than people that think I'm an idiot, uneducated, red-neck, gun-clinger.

I'm just sayin'...

I do firmly believe that most of the mainstream media is in bed with this current administration. I mean, they are positively INCAPABLE of reporting a story about Obama and his cohorts that has even the slightest negative tone to it. I mean, they didn't even MENTION the whole Acorn scandal for WEEKS. And why? Like it wasn't newsworthy? But reporting over and over and over on Kanye West acting like a total moron was? Riiight.

I LOVE the fact that Fox News will report the things you won't hear a peep about from the mainstream media.

BUT... I gotta admit, I'm a little tired of some of the sensationalism they try to get away with. I mean, I sort of hate going to their website to check out the headlines. I feel like a dirty creep going to check out some online tabloid. I mean, some of the tactics they use are a wee bit over the top.

Today, for instance, I went there to check out their updated news stories. Blared across the screen were the words, "GO TO HELL." It was a story about a man (or monster) who had kidnapped, raped and then killed a nine-year old girl. He had died in prison before he could be executed.

I get it. What the man did was dispicable, and he deserved to pay for what he did to that little girl. Would it have seemed more appropriate for him to die for his crime than from some illness? Probably.

But is it really necessary for a professional news source to use such inane hype and sensationalism to get their point across? I mean, "GO TO HELL"?

REALLY, FOX NEWS? REALLY?!

You're not a trashy tabloid, but the more these silly tactics are used, the more it makes you look like a trashy tabloid, robs you of any credibility, and makes me embarassed to watch you.

So... just... knock it off, will ya?

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, SMEL-LY CAT, it's not your fault...

I think my cat has been depressed lately.

Today, he slept all day long. Under the bed. Didn't even get up for lunch. This is highly unusual for him. He typically goes all day and night without sleeping with only a couple cat naps in between.

I think he might be mad at us for not paying more attention to him and playing with him a little more often. (What can I say? We've been a little distracted the past couple of days.)

But I think he got even with us when he took care of business (or "bidness", as he likes to call it) in his litterbox tonight.

After finishing up, he came and laid right by our feet with a look on his face that could only be interpreted as, "Ignore me, will you? Ignore that suckers."

I've never seen my husband clean out the litterbox that fast.

Oh, it is on, little kitty. It is on.

opportunity?

So, I received one e-mail and two phone calls about the same job today. A job at a law firm for a web copywriter. I feel woefully unqualified and hugely intimidated, but if I got THREE calls in the SAME DAY for the job? Meh. Maybe I am qualified.

I have no name for this blog post. Except maybe "Schizophrenia Claims Another Victim." (PS: That victim would be me, in case anyone is asking...)

First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to whine, complain, whimper and lament the current weather we are experiencing. I mean, REALLY PEOPLE?! It's AUTUMN. It's supposed to be getting cool and crisp. I'm supposed to be wearing sweatshirts and sweaters. Is it??? Am I??? NOOOO... And all these idiot weather people are like, "Oh! Gear up for another BEAUTIFUL week ahead!"

WHAT.

BEAUTIFUL? What is so beautiful about July weather in September? ! Yeah, I know, we didn't get much of a summer this year, but I'm ready to move on. I want cool, chilly and CRISP. OKAY?! And if I have to hear one more person express their happiness about the GORGEOUS weather we've been having, I'm going to smack them in the face.

I want to be DONE running my air conditioner. I want to be DONE wearing tank tops and shorts. I want to be DONE with these 80 degree AND SUNNY days.

Just. Make. It. STOP.

Okay? Thanks.

In other news, has anyone else noticed the INSANE amount of 80s fashions taking over the stores? I mean, in the past couple of years, some 80s fashions have made a weak sort of comeback with the leg warmers and the jelly shoes.

But this year?

THWACK!

Everytime I wander into the young women's section of a department store (and yes, I do still sometimes shop in the young women's section mostly because I don't feel like dressing like a 42 year old soccer mom with a mini van and a Kate Gosselin haircut) I feel like I stepped through a freakin' time warp.

Um... vests over t-shirts, belts around blouses, dyed jeans in blaring shades of blues, greens and reds, NECK-TIES, sunglasses with brightly colored frames, FRENCH ROLLED JEANS...

I gasp everytime I see something old that's new again and my husband thinks I'm having a seizure.

Don't get me wrong... I think it's sort of awesome. I love the 80s! I used to make fun of the fashions, but now? They've kind of grown on me. I feel like I'm playing dress up again. Not that I'm going to purchase any of these fashions... I'm just sayin'... It would be completey age inappropriate. But I'm just sayin'...

I'M JUST SAYIN'... OKAY?!

Speaking of the 80s... I found the most wonderful t-shirt in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD FOREVER AND EVER TIL DEATH DO US PART AMEN in one of these young women's sections.

Are you ready for it? Because you should really be sitting down for this. This is big.

Ready?

Okay...

*Deep Breath*

I found...

In the young women's section of one particular department store...

Wait for it...

...
....
.....

THE BEST MICHAEL JACKSON T-SHIRT EVER KNOWN TO EXIST ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

Oh, it was no typical Michael Jackson T-shirt...

Oh no, my friends.

THIS particular Michael Jackson t-shirt had GLITTER and SHINY things.

Picture this:

Michael Jackson's feet... just his feet... on the very tips of his toes in his signature move... with the signature black, skinny pants hiked WAY up there... and... AND... those signature WHITE SOCKS... PAINTED IN BEAUTIFUL SHINY SILVER GLITTER...

AND...

Across the front left shoulder, his name, painted in...

Wait for it...

SHINY, SILVER GLITTER PAINT.

(Insert massive "SQUEEEEEE!!!" here.)

I know. I'm acting like a fourteen year old in love with a Jonas Brother. But I've become a particularly HUGE Michael Jackson fan... so when I saw this t-shirt... my adolescent "easily fascinated with shiny things and cool people" ways overcame me and I knew I HAD to have that shirt.

(In my defense, I was SO not like that in Jr. High or High School. You know, all like, "SQUEEEE!!! The Backstreet Boys! SQUEEEE!!! N'Sync! SQUEEEE!!! 98 Degrees! SQUEEEE!!! Er... um... Hanson?" See? I don't even know what was supposed to be "in" when I was in high school. I was too busy having crushes on old people like Cary Grant and Robert Culp. Therefore, this MAY be a delayed reaction to all the adolescent shinanigans I so obviously missed out on during my teen years. So, please. Don't judge me for it.)

Granted, I haven't actually purchased the shirt yet. I'm too busy debating who might judge me for it and how harshly they might judge me. Purchasing a t-shirt like this is very "un-Sue-like"... and I have Sue-like tendencies to maintain, people. I can't be running all over willy-nilly like being "un-Sue". I have obligations. People depend on me. People look up to me. If I'm all like, "WHEEE!!! Michael Jackson t-shirts! WOO-HOO!" peoples' whole perception of reality would be shaken to the core. That is why I must think long and hard about this decision, and consider the potential consequences of my actions. DUH.

You people just don't get it, do you...

Sha-mon.

Of Hypochondriacs and Maine Coons

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I haven't posted in forever. Yes, the cat is still alive and so I am, thank you for asking.

But it's been a long, confusing, frustrating, exhausting, worrisome few weeks.

The cat finally finished with his scheduled dosings of medication. Hallelujah. Then of course, it was another trip back to the vet about a week later to get a booster shot, and be pressured and guilted into getting him a Feline Leukemia booster, despite the fact that he is not, never has been and never will be an outdoor cat. "Well, just so you're aware he won't be protected if he gets out..." the vet told me. Yes, I'm aware. I'm also aware that this booster will cost between $40 and $50 and quite frankly, I'm tired of giving all my money to you guys, so thanks, but no thanks. You would have thought I had requested they put the cat in a pillow case and drop him in the river.

Then I got sick. Apparently the 24 hour flu... or somethin'. But it was gross, let me tell you. I was completely burned out for at least a good two days. It was not so much fun.

Then my friend got sick and she was in the hospital for a full week... with a blood clot... at the age of 27. Yeah. Because of birth control. Yeah, the same kind I take. Which means I get to take a trip to see the doctor on Monday to get a prescription for something that isn't going to... oh, I don't know... threaten my life? Good plan? I think so. But I hate doctors. And I hate doctors' offices. And clinics. And that nasty sterile smell. And questions being hurled at me while nobody bothers to listen for an answer. Not so much looking forward to it, I gotta say.

And then with all this swine flu crap going around and hearing about blood clots and wondering what I'm doing getting the 24 hour flu in the middle of August... I've become a bit of a hypochondriac. Not just for myself but for my cat too. Every sneeze, every choke, every cough, funny sounding sigh, bump on the ear, feeling of indigestion sends me running to the computer to see what's really going on. It's not healthy people. I need to get out more. If this doesn't stop, I'm going to have my doctor and vet on speed dial calling them every 20 minutes to ask, "Why does my cat mew so much? Why does my arm hurt when I breathe like this? Why is my cat's lip pink just on the one side? Why do my ears start ringing when I try to lift my leg above my head?" I mean... REALLY?!

BWAH.

In the past few weeks I have also discovered that my cat was MAJORLY misidentified when we purchased him from the Humane Society. And honestly? It kind of ticks me off. He was labeled as a Domestic Medium Hair. But that didn't explain the overly hairy ears, the huge feet with tufts of hair on the paws, the dog-like tendencies, and the huge bushy tail. After much research, I've come to the conclusion that he is without a doubt, part Maine Coon. Every personality quirk, every odd behavioral trait, every weird physical characteristic can be attributed to his Maine Coon ancestry. I mean... it was really freakin' obvious.

His fat, bushy tail? Maine Coon. His obsession with all things related to water? Maine Coon. His crazy hairy ears? Maine Coon. His dog-like tendency to follow us all over the house and wait right outside the door for us to emerge from a room? Maine Coon. His massive build and paws? Maine Coon. The BIG tufts of fur growing out of his feet? Maine Coon. His overly easy-going and playful nature which doesn't resemble any cats I've ever seen? Maine Coon.

And his look is so obviously Maine Coon, it surprises me that nobody stopped and said, "Hm... are we sure he's just a Domestic Medium-Hair?" I mean, it's THAT apparent. Now I'm all obsessed with finding out just how much Maine Coon is in him. I mean... could he be a pure bred? Because if that's the case... SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?... these are prize-winning, specialty cats. Not that I want to use him for that, but it'd be good to know at least.

*sigh*

It gets hard living in a world with such stupid, un-curious people.

And this post doesn't even begin to cover my disgust with all things Super-Target, my withdrawal from cable television, my retarded toilet that REFUSES TO NOT CLOG EVERY FREAKIN' TIME I USE IT, this nasty, humid, hot weather that refuses to go away, an idiot president, and a less than awesome haircut that leaves me looking like a soccer mom.

I think I'm going to sleep the rest of this year off.