I know. I haven't posted in forever. And I've experienced a little bit of Wordpress withdrawal.
And now? Right now, I REALLY have so much to blog about and so much to say and so much to rant and rave about and yet...
It's 2:00 in the morning. I SHOULD be going to bed... but it always seems that I'm the most inspired at the most un-Godly late hours...
And yet... I know that my responsible side will prevail...
And yet, I have this nagging feeling that despite my responsible side stepping in and taking over...
I'm going to end up lying wide awake in bed until my blogging side takes over and brings me back in here to blog to my heart's content.
And yet... my eyes are feeling a bit heavy...
We'll see which side wins. Either way, I'll post soon. I plomise.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Priceless and Rare Commodity for Sale at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch
Have you heard about this? The college student who's selling her virginity online to pay for schooling for herself and her sister? Apparently, the bidding is up to 3.7 MIIIIILLLLIOOOOON DOLLAHS. (That's "million dollars" in case you couldn't follow that.)
And now, female college grads everywhere are wondering, "Why didn't I think of that?!"
Including myself.
I kid, I kid.
Quite shameful to say the least, but I must admit, the best part of the entire Fox News article can be found in the following two paragraphs...
"The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, the brothel that is arranging and hosting the deal, sounded especially gung-ho about Dylan.
"Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting," says the Bunny Ranch Web site."
Classic.
And now, female college grads everywhere are wondering, "Why didn't I think of that?!"
Including myself.
I kid, I kid.
Quite shameful to say the least, but I must admit, the best part of the entire Fox News article can be found in the following two paragraphs...
"The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, the brothel that is arranging and hosting the deal, sounded especially gung-ho about Dylan.
"Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting," says the Bunny Ranch Web site."
Classic.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Patient Experiences Unnatural Attachments to Inanimate Objects
This patient?
It's me.
I know, I know. I'll allow you a moment to gather your thoughts and feelings about this particular revelation. I realize most of you out there thought I had it all together, that I was perfect.
Alas, dear bloggity peeps... this is not the case.
In fact, I'm quite the fr-eeee-AK when it comes to my unnatural attachments to inanimate objects.
Did you know that in my world, stuffed animals, cars, apartments, plants, even corn flakes have feelings? Actual FEELINGS. Emotions. Just like you and me. And they can think and feel and hear and understand.
Apparently.
This? This is why I used to obsess about left over corn flakes and Lucky Charms floating by their lonesome in the milky goodness of my cereal bowl. They had to be eaten. To be separated from the rest of the family that now resided in my stomach was horrific. They had to be eaten for no other reason than to join the rest of their kin.
This is why I still project feelings unto my stuffed animals.
AND YES, I AM TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD AND STILL HAVE STUFFED ANIMALS. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!
The other night I discovered a hole in the head of my beloved, ragged "April" bunny rabbit and was unreasonably bothered by it because of her obvious discomfort and pain.
Um...
REALLY?!
This is why I talk to my plant and "pet" it and tell it it's looking big and strong and growing so well.
This is why my car is no longer referred to as "my car", but rather "Zoe"... (yes, she has a name) and why I can only talk about "her" and not "it."
This is why if I find a stray marble, rock, rubber band, what-have-you, lying by its lonesome on the floor, I have to return it to its rightful home so it's not left lonely and cold.
This is why I get sad and teary-eyed when I move out of a place of residence. This is also why I told my dorm rooms "goodbye" and "thank you" when I left.
I AM NOT EXAGGERRATING, PEOPLE.
I know. It's seriously laughable, isn't it?
I've outgrown some of it as I've grown up, but the majority of it is still there.
When parents talk about their kids having this problem, I inwardly giggle because I know I STILL have it.
Not that I want to do anything about it. I don't think I need therapy (oh, who am I kidding, I totally do...) but when I catch myself STILL doing these things?
I mean, REALLY?
So, just out of curiosity, I CAN'T be the only one with these feelings...
Right?
Anyone?
ANYONE?
It's me.
I know, I know. I'll allow you a moment to gather your thoughts and feelings about this particular revelation. I realize most of you out there thought I had it all together, that I was perfect.
Alas, dear bloggity peeps... this is not the case.
In fact, I'm quite the fr-eeee-AK when it comes to my unnatural attachments to inanimate objects.
Did you know that in my world, stuffed animals, cars, apartments, plants, even corn flakes have feelings? Actual FEELINGS. Emotions. Just like you and me. And they can think and feel and hear and understand.
Apparently.
This? This is why I used to obsess about left over corn flakes and Lucky Charms floating by their lonesome in the milky goodness of my cereal bowl. They had to be eaten. To be separated from the rest of the family that now resided in my stomach was horrific. They had to be eaten for no other reason than to join the rest of their kin.
This is why I still project feelings unto my stuffed animals.
AND YES, I AM TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD AND STILL HAVE STUFFED ANIMALS. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!
The other night I discovered a hole in the head of my beloved, ragged "April" bunny rabbit and was unreasonably bothered by it because of her obvious discomfort and pain.
Um...
REALLY?!
This is why I talk to my plant and "pet" it and tell it it's looking big and strong and growing so well.
This is why my car is no longer referred to as "my car", but rather "Zoe"... (yes, she has a name) and why I can only talk about "her" and not "it."
This is why if I find a stray marble, rock, rubber band, what-have-you, lying by its lonesome on the floor, I have to return it to its rightful home so it's not left lonely and cold.
This is why I get sad and teary-eyed when I move out of a place of residence. This is also why I told my dorm rooms "goodbye" and "thank you" when I left.
I AM NOT EXAGGERRATING, PEOPLE.
I know. It's seriously laughable, isn't it?
I've outgrown some of it as I've grown up, but the majority of it is still there.
When parents talk about their kids having this problem, I inwardly giggle because I know I STILL have it.
Not that I want to do anything about it. I don't think I need therapy (oh, who am I kidding, I totally do...) but when I catch myself STILL doing these things?
I mean, REALLY?
So, just out of curiosity, I CAN'T be the only one with these feelings...
Right?
Anyone?
ANYONE?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Un-Freakin'-Believable
Apparently there are protests happening in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Protests about Israel's current campaign in Gaza.
Protesters included at least 200 pro-Palestinian demonstrators and a much smaller group of Israel supporters.
The protests apparently became so heated that one pro Palestinian woman felt compelled to make such statements as, "Go back to the oven. You need a big oven, that's what you need," making reference to the type of exterminantion the Nazis used on the Jews during the Holocaust.
I guess anti-semitism is making a rousing comeback, huh.
Didn't we outlaw hate speech a while back? It's not okay to spew hate speech at gays, Muslims, or one-eye, one-horned, flying purple people eaters. (And no, I am not comparing gays or Muslims to people eaters in anyway shape or form so please do not get all up in my face about something so stupid.) Jews, on the other hand? Meh, go ahead, most people hate them anyway.
And the thing that really gets my blood boiling? The fact that there are even protests going on about this whole Gaza campaign.
I haven't heard anything in the news about the 3,000 or so rockets fired into Israeli territory the last 12 months. I wasn't even aware it was going on! But the minute Israel decided to defend itself?
"Oh good Lord. Israel's causing trouble AGAIN. Better put them in their place. Silly Jews, think they can run willy-nilly and cause all kinds of trouble in the Middle East."
REALLY?
3,000 rockets in the past year.
Would you prefer they sit there with their heads up their ASSES like the rest of the world, pretending that nothing is wrong? Because if it's happening to Israel it doesn't really matter, is that it?
And the other nations are hauling Israel on the carpet for their actions?! What nation would allow themselves to be under attack for the past 12 months and do NOTHING about it?
I mean, REALLY? Has everyone gone insane? Have they all gone dumb, deaf and blind? Has everyone suddenly become this STUPID and HATEFUL?
I understand the anger over Israel not letting in supplies and aid to the Gaza Strip. And I think they should, yes. But to get in an uproar because she's decided to defend herself in the first place?
Un-freakin'-believable.
Protesters included at least 200 pro-Palestinian demonstrators and a much smaller group of Israel supporters.
The protests apparently became so heated that one pro Palestinian woman felt compelled to make such statements as, "Go back to the oven. You need a big oven, that's what you need," making reference to the type of exterminantion the Nazis used on the Jews during the Holocaust.
I guess anti-semitism is making a rousing comeback, huh.
Didn't we outlaw hate speech a while back? It's not okay to spew hate speech at gays, Muslims, or one-eye, one-horned, flying purple people eaters. (And no, I am not comparing gays or Muslims to people eaters in anyway shape or form so please do not get all up in my face about something so stupid.) Jews, on the other hand? Meh, go ahead, most people hate them anyway.
And the thing that really gets my blood boiling? The fact that there are even protests going on about this whole Gaza campaign.
I haven't heard anything in the news about the 3,000 or so rockets fired into Israeli territory the last 12 months. I wasn't even aware it was going on! But the minute Israel decided to defend itself?
"Oh good Lord. Israel's causing trouble AGAIN. Better put them in their place. Silly Jews, think they can run willy-nilly and cause all kinds of trouble in the Middle East."
REALLY?
3,000 rockets in the past year.
Would you prefer they sit there with their heads up their ASSES like the rest of the world, pretending that nothing is wrong? Because if it's happening to Israel it doesn't really matter, is that it?
And the other nations are hauling Israel on the carpet for their actions?! What nation would allow themselves to be under attack for the past 12 months and do NOTHING about it?
I mean, REALLY? Has everyone gone insane? Have they all gone dumb, deaf and blind? Has everyone suddenly become this STUPID and HATEFUL?
I understand the anger over Israel not letting in supplies and aid to the Gaza Strip. And I think they should, yes. But to get in an uproar because she's decided to defend herself in the first place?
Un-freakin'-believable.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Hey, I have an idea...
Let's just blame Israel again.
After all, they make such excellent scapegoats.
After all, they make such excellent scapegoats.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Post Holiday Slump
Okay. So, I realize I haven't posted on here for quite some time, but between eating myself into a coma and trying to recover from said coma, I just haven't had the time.
Actually, that's not entirely true. Between bites of Russell Stove chocolates, chocolate covered pretzels, puppy chow, Christmas buns, corned beef roll-ups filled with pickles and cream cheese, and these tasty little pretzel squares covered with melted carmel Hershey's kisses and topped off with an M & M... I probably could have punched a couple of keys during my finger licking to type a simple, "Hey, how's it goin'?" but I didn't. And really, there's no need to judge me just because I've been busy packing on an extra 15 pounds for these cold northern Minnesota winters.
So there.
Christmas was good, but fast. Too fast. I always have the loftiest of expectations for my holidays and they always seem to fall flat on their faces. I expect dancing sugar plum fairies and Christmas sing-alongs and opening presents while we roast chestnuts by an open fire. You know, the whole Norman Rockwell thing. Instead I get rushed visits, lots of bloating, and a lot of unenthusiastic visiting, eating and gift opening.
Christmas just doesn't hold the appeal it once did. As a kid, things always seemed so magical. Now they're just plain boring. And even if you try to bring in the magic, it rarely works when it comes down to the mad rush and anxiety of the whole thing.
Dang it. Why can't I be 8 again?
*sigh*
But now, the holidays are over with... and they came and went unenthusiastically and the whole thing was really very anti-climactic. Like a good book where the ending totally sucks.
And now, all that's left is my merry little Christmas tree sitting by her lonesome in the living room. I haven't been able to bring myself to take her down yet. She's so festive and cheery... and I've sort of adopted her as a kind of pet. If I take her down, the living room will be left sad and empty and I will be sorely aware of the fact that the holiday season is indeed over with.
Maybe I'll leave her up a bit longer to make sure Christmas doesn't die completely.
And maybe I'll leave it just to annoy people.
That's always fun. And I always need some extra fun this time of year anyway.
Actually, that's not entirely true. Between bites of Russell Stove chocolates, chocolate covered pretzels, puppy chow, Christmas buns, corned beef roll-ups filled with pickles and cream cheese, and these tasty little pretzel squares covered with melted carmel Hershey's kisses and topped off with an M & M... I probably could have punched a couple of keys during my finger licking to type a simple, "Hey, how's it goin'?" but I didn't. And really, there's no need to judge me just because I've been busy packing on an extra 15 pounds for these cold northern Minnesota winters.
So there.
Christmas was good, but fast. Too fast. I always have the loftiest of expectations for my holidays and they always seem to fall flat on their faces. I expect dancing sugar plum fairies and Christmas sing-alongs and opening presents while we roast chestnuts by an open fire. You know, the whole Norman Rockwell thing. Instead I get rushed visits, lots of bloating, and a lot of unenthusiastic visiting, eating and gift opening.
Christmas just doesn't hold the appeal it once did. As a kid, things always seemed so magical. Now they're just plain boring. And even if you try to bring in the magic, it rarely works when it comes down to the mad rush and anxiety of the whole thing.
Dang it. Why can't I be 8 again?
*sigh*
But now, the holidays are over with... and they came and went unenthusiastically and the whole thing was really very anti-climactic. Like a good book where the ending totally sucks.
And now, all that's left is my merry little Christmas tree sitting by her lonesome in the living room. I haven't been able to bring myself to take her down yet. She's so festive and cheery... and I've sort of adopted her as a kind of pet. If I take her down, the living room will be left sad and empty and I will be sorely aware of the fact that the holiday season is indeed over with.
Maybe I'll leave her up a bit longer to make sure Christmas doesn't die completely.
And maybe I'll leave it just to annoy people.
That's always fun. And I always need some extra fun this time of year anyway.
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