ER

Of all the things a person can think of when first waking up in the morning, my first thought was, "Man, they really need to cancel 'ER'".

I know.

Whaaaaaa????

What does "ER" have to do with anything?

Let me think...did I dream about "ER"? Um...nope. Don't think so. Did I dream about any ER-like situations? No... Did I dream about any "ER" characters? Pretty much...no.

But that was my first thought. My very first thought. "Somebody cancel that show."

I never thought such words would be uttered by my mouth. In high school I was obsessed with the show. Way more obsessed than any rational human being should be. If I missed a single episode, it would nearly bring me to tears. I had to watch it every week, to see every tragedy, every miracle, every near-death experience, every shouting match, every kiss, every break-up, every make-up, everything, all the time. For a while, sadly, my life was that show.

And then Dr. Ross quit and Nurse Hathaway left to be with him and Dr. Carter acquired a drug problem, and Dr. Weaver became a lesbian and Dr. Benton left for...some reason that I can't remember and Dr. Boulet still had HIV but left to start a life with her ex anyway and Dr. Greene died.

And then, and only then, was I completely over it.

Now, every time an advertisement for that stupid show comes on, I freak out and scream things like, "Let it DIE already! Nobody cares! Nobody watches your stupid show! Cancel the thing! What is wrong with you network executives?!"

And I only get this riled up about it because...well, let's face it. The show jumped the shark like...two or three years ago.

I remember coming across an episode where the snarky, cranky, awful Dr. Romano (the short bald guy with the Napoleon Complex? Anyone? Anyone?) had his arm taken off by a helicopter. A helicopter. Okay. Fine. I suppose I can see that happening. Helicopters could be considered dangerous weapons. And I suppose the writers thought they could spice things up a bit by taking someone's arm off...so, voila! Take the guy's arm off, he can be the short, bald one-armed doctor who yells a lot because he has a Napoleon Complex and only one arm. Genius! Who wouldn't tune in to watch the events unfold?

But then, then, the writers thought they should take things up a notch and put the cranky doctor out of his misery by literally dropping a helicopter on the guy. Whaaaaaa? First he has his arm taken off, now the helicopter comes back for revenge...and takes his life? Whaaaaaa?

Dear Writers for ER...you suck. And you totally jumped the shark when you did that. So give up now. Before NBC has to cancel your pathetic little show.

Seriously, if I see one more advertisement for "The most shocking ER episode ever!" or "The ending will leave you breathless!" or "Prepare for an episode so shocking.." or "You...won't...believe...what...happens."

Ooh. Let me guess. The lights go out all over the hospital and the generator isn't working! Or...the patient in Exam Room 2 is really a terrorist with a bomb! Or a plane crashes into the hospital and leaves everyone dead and Dr. Carter has to come back from Africa to save lives! Or...mutant plane hunts down dead Dr. Romano's corpse.

I mean...COMEON.

What happened to the days when "ER" was more like "Grey's Anatomy"? When there were actual comic moments and it was about relationships and human interaction? Back then we tuned in to see if Doug and Carol were ever going to get together? Or if Dr. Benton was going to continue screaming at poor Carter for being a poor, defenseless, wimpy intern. Or if hospital administration would let Jeanie assist patients despite her HIV status. Or if Mark would chase Susan down and tell her that he loved her (because we all know if he had he wouldn't have gotten cancer.) Or if Dr. Weaver was ever going to stop being crabby and if her crabbiness had anything to do with her limp.

I mean, this is the stuff that matters. Not bombs and crashing helicopters and total destruction. It was the characters that kept people tuning in week after week. Now we don't even know who these random people are. Now we don't even care.

The show shot itself in the foot a long time ago. It's time to let the thing die. It's too pathetic to keep it in this kind of misery. Have you people no compassion?!

It's time NBC took my advice. Cancel the freakin' show. You know you want to. And nobody's going to miss it anyway.

Then maybe I can wake up without these pressing matters on my mind.

Being single

It seems to me that lately, people have been concerned about my "single" status.

God knows why.

I'm not worried about it.

My older sister (the one who I think thinks I'm being too picky) keeps making suggestions to me about online dating websites (E-Harmony anyone?) and church singles groups (do I have "desperate" written across my forehead?). My mother even commented on how cute and sweet the cable guy was that came to the house. She said he was someone she would have picked out for me. I told her I'd never date a blue-collar worker. I know, I was shocked by my own shallowness, but I've learned to accept it and move on. So should you.

I'm not sure why there's this renewed interest in my personal life all of a sudden. It was never there before. Now? Now they can't hand out suggestions fast enough.

My sisters and friends have expressed their disbelief to me concerning the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. It baffles them. In so many words they have basically told me, "You're cute, you're funny, you're smart, you're classy, you're kind. You're the whole package. Who wouldn't want you?"

I KNOW!

And it used to bother me. Especially going through this period of my life when everyone and their sister is hightailing it to the altar..

Now? Now, I like to spend my time laughing maniacally and pointing fingers. "You're married?! MARRIED?! I'm sorry. That must kind of suck for you."

Oh, simmer down, I love my married friends and I'm happy they found "the one" so early on in life...I guess. But, I'm even more happy, that I'm not one of them. (No offense guys.)

But comeon, marriage at this stage of the game?

The mere thought gives me a full body shiver.

I know that if I were seriously involved with someone, engaged to or married to someone right now...all my ambition would be out the window. Gone. My dreams and aspirations and goals? Those would be gone too. I'd be too wrapped up in this other person to even give it any thought.

And that totally creeps me out.

Which makes me overwhelmingly thankful that I'm not.

I think at this age, girls go through a stage of insecurity. They're scared of being alone, scared of not having someone there to take care of them, scared of what the future holds, scared that they don't know what they're going to with their lives...and I think that a lot of girls jump into relationships and marriage because of that fear and insecurity. If they have that one security in life, they may be able to handle the rest, because there will be someone there with them, helping them or doing it for them.

After graduation, I went through the same phase. I just wanted a guy to take care of me. I resented girls that had guys because they had someone to take care of them. I just wanted a guy so I wouldn't have to be so stinkin' freaked out about life.

But I'm happy to say, I've never been so over it.

I'm so excited to be at a point where I can go anywhere, do anything, pursue whatever, without having a ball and chain to contend with. I don't have to compromise my wants, my desires, my dreams with what someone else wants, desires, or dreams. I get to find out what I want and where I'm going first, before I get all entangled in another person's life. How awesome is that? It's so...freeing.

Honestly, right now, the prospect of a serious relationship or engagement or marriage really freaks me out. Especially marriage. It's so final. So...like I said, final. I mean, after marriage, what else is there except kids, retirement and death?

Okay, wow, maybe that was a bit harsh...but that's just where I am at this point in my life. And...although I considered it...I'm still not going to apologize for it.

I know, I know. "But marriage is a joining of two souls. Marriage is about having a partner in life. Marriage is wonderful knowing you'll always have someone there for you."

Um, I already have people who will always be there for me. I don't think you need to get married to have a partner in life. And the joining of two souls? Um, I already have my soul joined to Someone way better than any man.

And right now? I am so glad to be single.

So, don't be giving me any love advice. I don't need it.

Best of all? I don't want it.

Today He Gave Me

Okay, all you lovely readers of my blog...and some of the not-so-lovely ones too...

My friend has been trying to get a website put together about Christian issues and would like feedback concerning it. She's been trying to get people involved...and as of yet, she has not been successful.

So...if you are "Christian-minded" or even if you're not and you have something to discuss or rant about or question...visit the site.

To get to the site, click here. Take a look around, visit the message board, or just visit the blog which is here.

Just thought I'd share in case anyone was interested.

Super. Kisses to you all.

(You know you like it.)

Amsterdam red-light district hosts open house

Prostitutes launch outreach to combat negative stereotypes of sex industry

“The open day is partly to promote the red-light district but also to help change the image of the area because we think it is too negative,”

Oh, boo-freakin'-hoo. Are ya kiddin' me?! We're not supposed to think selling sex for money is a bad thing?!

Pardon me. I keep forgetting. It's all relative, right?

Did hell just freeze over?

And if it did, is hell a proper term and should it be capitalized?

But I digress.

So, everyday at work, I'm subjected to all kinds of crappy music as I sit in that little cubby hole of a room that people around here call the "computer room." And, you see, the problem is this: the computer that I work at, doesn't have speakers. The other one does. So, the girls at the other computer get to play all kinds of music that I must suffer through and I smile as though it doesn't drive me crazy.

And yes, I realize that many a time I could have said, "Would you turn that crap off?!" or at the very least, "Would you turn on something DECENT?!" But...the truth is, not all of the music is awful...just some of it...and...since I don't have control over that computer anyway...I doubt they would listen to me. They'd just laugh maniacally and turn it up.

Right.

But don't be getting all indignant and thinking things like, "How rude!" and getting your panties all in a twist. Because, it's nobody's fault but my own for not doing anything about it. You see, since it's such a minimal part of my day, I figure it's not worth the hassle to raise a big stink. And like I said, not all the music is crappy...just some of it is...and I'm probably exaggerrating a bit anyway.

Now that I have finished justifying my actions to everyone, let me get to the real point. The real point being this:

I think I may not mind country music.

EW! SICK! GROSS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? ARE YOU SICK OR SOMETHING?!

You see, one of my coworkers turned on Keith Urban today...and I gotta admit...I didn't really hate him. In fact, I may have...sort of...kind of...maybe just an eensy, weensy, teeny, weeny little bit...liked him.

EW! SICK! GROSS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? ARE YOU SICK OR SOMETHING?!

I KNOW! That's what I said!

Seriously....I think hell may have frozen over because...I swore that would never happen.

Which returns me to my previous question:

And if it did, is hell a proper term and should it be capitalized?

Pretty much

This one is from Sean...


You are Langston Hughes. You love jazz and hip

suits. You write poems only because you have

to write them. Otherwise, you are too busy

living your secret lives.


Which Famous Modern American Poet Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah. That's right. Normally, I CRUSH people who write poetry...

I've decided

To take Sean's advice and simply...

CRUSH THEM.

CRUSH THEM ALL.

It seems like the most reasonable course of action to take.

Of course, considering my size I may not be able to physically crush them...

So, I may have to resort to crushing them with my wit, my charm and my intellect.

Oh yes, and my beauty. Did I mention my beauty? I'll have to crush them with that too.

Yeah. That's right. You will cower before me.

A favor

So, you know when you agree to do something for someone as a favor? And it turns into this big thing that somehow manages to become your responsibility and it consumes way too much of your time and energy than it's even worth? And you wonder how it got to that point because all you had agreed to do was a simple favor but now it's like you've signed your soul away and you're indebted to the person you agreed to do the favor for and for better or for worse you're in it for the long haul and you're left wondering, "How the hankel did this happen?! This isn't my job!"

Um...yeah. That happens to me all the freaking time.

I think I'm too nice for my own good.

Huh?

My sister seemed bent on convincing me last night that I should go out with someone I'm not attracted to. I think she thinks I'm being too picky. Whatever that means. Like I'd go out with someone I'm not attracted to. I think she thinks I'm missing out on something by not dating guys I'm not attracted to.

That's what I said.

"Huh?"

Why I would do such a thing, I'm not really sure.

All I know is that everyone else seems to know what is best for me. And really. Seriously. For real. They don't.

Go out with someone I'm not attracted to?

How could I be missing out on something by avoiding that?

Granted, it was 10:00 and way past her bedtime, so she probably wasn't completely lucid.

Poor thing. Dishing out advice in that condition.

Silly girl.

Uh...just to clarify

Because there seems to be a bit of confusion over this...

The "Sharon" that comments on my blog is not, in fact, my mother...although they share the same name...and are both quite lovely.

Just to clear things up...because a couple of you kids were confused about that.

So, now you know.

The straw

It finally broke on Saturday.

And it was about time too.

I was initially angry. I flipped out. Not outwardly, but inwardly. And trust me, nobody needs to see that anyway.

But by the end of the night, I was laughing. Out of relief and joy and a release of every obsessive, neurotic thought and action that has consumed me for God knows how long.

Funny how it took something I truly dreaded and feared to create such a breakthrough. The hurt and anger lasted maybe five minutes. And that left just as quickly as it had come. All that was left afterwards was an epiphany of how cruel and selfish and awful human beings can be, even when they're not trying. I suppose such a revelation should have depressed me, but it was actually freeing. I finally got it. It's not my problem. I'm fine. Why should I care? I don't need to carry that burden around with me. Let them pay the consequences for their actions. Why should I have to put up with it?

There was nothing left to do but laugh. Because I've seen it before, I just never had the nerve to accept it. Some people will never care about anyone but themselves. That doesn't mean I have to let them walk all over me and make me feel worthless and as if I will never measure up.

Poor things. They just don't understand that they're the ones with the problems. Not me.

And now that I've accepted that, I can brush myself off and start anew.

Again. This time, for good.

Because you love me. That's why.

Today is February 3rd.

Which means that in two months it will be...

Eddie Murphy's Birthday.

And mine.

But mine is the one you have to remember.

So mark your calendars.

Now.

Seriously.

Do it now.

I won't be your friend anymore if you don't.

Consider this fair warning.

You people all have 2 months to pick out the perfect Sue gift.

I expect them to be good.

And if they're not...or if you forget...I will seriously disown you.

Don't make me do that.

Cause I kinda like you people...

Sometimes.

So, start your shopping early.

This year you people have no excuses.

For further information on what I would like, you can e-mail me.

Like you know you've been wanting to do for the last 6 months.

So do it.

And do it now.

Why?

Because you love me! That's why!

Okay, I just thought of something else that really irritates me.

Wait...were we talking about things that really irritate me?

Well, it doesn't matter because now we're talking about things that really irritate me, aren't we?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

So...you know those people that just aren't funny? They try to have a sense of humor, but no matter what they do or say or try for, everything just falls flat. And you're left staring at them with a blank expression on your face and then you try to make yourself laugh but it comes out sounding so fakey you have to turn away or change the subject just so they won't feel bad.

I find it truly appalling. I try to feel bad for these people, but I can't seem to make myself. Instead I end up regarding them with distain because they don't make me laugh. I get all uppity and I roll my eyes and act all snotty.

And I'm not even an uppity, eye-rolling snob in the first place.

But when someone isn't funny...and they're actually trying to be? Don't expect me to be patient with these people.

When I was a junior in college, I was seeing this guy who absolutely, under no circumstances made me laugh ever. Which is absurd, because anyone who knows Sueanne, knows that one of her top requirements for going out with anyone is that he have a sense of humor. But I was so flattered by this guy constantly pursuing me that I finally just figured, "What the heck." But in the back of my mind, I couldn't get over the fact that not once had he ever made me laugh.

My sister couldn't figure out what my problem was. She told me that in the grand scheme of things, a great sense of humor isn't a necessity. And besides, she said, people can learn to have a sense of humor.

For future reference, no they cannot. They either have it or they don't.

And then, one day, while having lunch in the Union, this kid actually made me laugh. Out loud. And I wasn't even faking it. I was so excited I kept telling everyone the clever comment he had made. I thought God had granted me a miracle.

I was wrong. It never happened again.

Don't ask me what I was thinking. I obviously wasn't. This is what I fondly refer to as my "Brain-Fart Phase".

I'm over it now.

Maybe this is why I have issues with people that don't make me laugh. Or probably not since I wasn't that adversely affected by the whole thing.

Either way, people with a really dumb sense of humor need to fix this. And people with no sense of humor need to find one.

Because, seriously...why should anyone have to put up with people like that?

Favorite song?

A person once asked me what my favorite song was.

No offense to that individual, but...

Dumbest question ever.

There is no possible way to answer that question.

You see, one can not ever have one single favorite song.

That's like suggesting one can have one single favorite food.

It's just entirely not possible.

Like food, there are just too many great possibilities out there to single out one absolute favorite.

One can have favorite songs,

But one cannot have one favorite song.

One can have a favorite group.

One can have a favorite genre.

But one cannot, cannot, cannot ever say they have one favorite song.

What about all the other songs? Do they suddenly not matter? Do they suddenly not measure up?

The only way an individual can answer that question is if they're not a music fan.

And people that aren't fans of music are just weird.

So, with that said, I declare that question null and void and...

Really, really dumb.

Silly kids...don't your parents teach you anything?

My Apologies

To all of my blog reading peeps...

For being so stinkin' crabby these past few weeks...

Or has it been months?

I don't know...

But either way, I'm sorry I'm been a little short-tempered and cranky and whiny and not my usual, happy, perky, "Whee!" self.

I'm sorry you guys had to see that.

Last night I smacked myself upside the head...so I should be okay now.