The other day, I was reading an article about a new book that's recently been published called, "He's Just Not That Into You."
Just reading the title makes women squirm a little. He's just not that into you? Wait a minute, are you saying that...maybe he's just not that into ME? ME?!
See? It hurts a bit doesn't it? How many of us out there have tried to convince ourselves time and time again that we couldn't possibly be the reason he isn't returning our calls or the reason he hasn't asked us out yet or whatever.
Women are great at making excuses for men and their dumb behavior. They rationalize everything to death and are willing to make justifications for anything. "He hasn't called because he's been too busy, he hasn't asked me out yet because he thinks I should ask him out"...and on and on the vicious cycle goes.
Admit it. We're all guilty of it. What's even worse is that we do it with our friends...all the time. When a friend is freaking out because she hasn't heard back from the guy she had a great first date with, we never, EVER tell her it's because he might not be that into her. It's always, he's busy, or he lost your number, or he's just working up the courage to do it. Blah, blah, blah.
Which sometimes really is the case, but rarely. We just don't want to say anything. We need to spare her feelings and slowly wean her off this awful crush.
The fact of the matter is, women can do better. Just because a guy isn't that into you doesn't mean he's a bad guy...although we would all like to think he's the spawn of Satan...it just means that instead of wasting your time with a guy that doesn't fully appreciate you, turn your attention to someone who IS going to appreciate you, and return your calls and make the first move and...well, you get the point.
But let me just clarify something here. Women aren't entirely responsible for their delusional fantasies and obsessive excuse making. In fact, it kinda seems to me that men have driven them to this.
You see, I don't get it. Men are always asking what women want, when in fact, shouldn't the question be, what the heck do MEN want?
I keep coming across the fact that men want to do the chasing, they want to win the woman over, they want to be the pursuer and they like to have to work for the woman's affection.
Whoa, Nellie. Back the bus up. What?
Now, forgive me, maybe I'm living in the Twilight Zone, but I've heard from quite a few men that they like when women put forth the effort, they have no qualms about women asking them out, and in fact, they are the ones that want to be chased.
Now this idea never sat right with me. Maybe because I'm an old-fashioned kind of girl. But I've always stuck to my position that the guy should be doing the chasing, not the girl, despite all the testimonies to the contrary.
And then this article confirmed what I had believed all along.
Now, I don't think I'm the only girl out there that was confused. There have to be other women out there that are hearing two different tales as well. Well, stop obsessing. The fact of the matter is that men really, truly should be doing the pursuing...not you. And any guy that spouts off something to the contrary, probably has some major growing up to do.
So, it really is okay to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to come along.